I am a woman of all the people. And by that I mean I will flirt with anything living that shares >50% human dna. People say it’s a numbers game and I’m just maximising my chances for success. But in the interests of promoting free love and racial harmony one one bowl at a time cuz somebody’s gotta, Nattibo stepped out of her comfort zone for ya’ll and went all the way to India this time to bring you Not Your Mother’s Ramen Episode 23: Pran Mr. Noodles – Chicken Curry Flavor. Well not really. I went to my local Halal market and bought some noodles that were made in India.
I’d like to thank all my brown brothers & sisters for all the great things you’ve brought into our lives: math & the number zero, how to turn green stuff more addictive than a Klondike bar, and Dev Patel with his foine af self. We owe you a few, India. Opening up the packet, I see some thin & wavy noodles that remind me very much of your typical under a dollar southeast Asian fare, barely 320 calories despite being fried. This is definitely for those looking to slim down to fit back into their toddler’s medium body at the Baby Gap. So it gets me a’thinkin – I got some extra calories to play with. What other shit can I slap on these noods transform them ott & aesthetic? When in India on food street…they put in like 10 powders, vegetables, cheese, and mayo. HELL YAS. There’s 2 types of people in this world: those who prioritize their good looks & health, and those who don’t need your judgment.
Time to bust out those reading comprehension skills, yo. The directions definitely say 2 cups of water, but that’s foreign cups so slow your role, B. Best to follow the metric system like everyone else in the world and boil the suggested amount (250-300 ml). Make it easy and get yourself a measuring cup that does both. I boiled ~250 mils. Looks like not enough, but hakuna your tatas and trust the process. Top with the included curry chicken flavor powder and any xtras you have on hand.
Okay, so first impressions are that the noodles are a bit gummy, which I don’t really mind, but it’s definitely not a texture you’d think someone tries to achieve on purpose. Huh. The curry isn’t very strong, shit, the flavor isn’t even very strong, and it certainly doesn’t have the heat that you’d expect from something coming out of India. Like, safe for children under 12 heat. WTF, this is curry for milk toast. Probably would go well with some spicy chutneys or mango pickles, sprinkled with masala – most of which I didn’t have. *sadface* But as it is, it’s earned a spice level: Tommy Pickles.
Final Score: 5.0/10