When you’re in recovery, you gotta KISS. And while I’m all for banging the sickness out, what I’m really referring to is simplifying the shit you do in order to make your life at least temporarily unfuckwithable. So let’s start the healing process with Not Your Mother’s Ramen Episode 16: Ve Wong Instant Oriental Noodle Soup – Artificial Sesame Chicken Flavor.
Don’t be put off by Ve Wong’s truth in labeling “artificial” term. Let’s be real, y’all, plenty of great things in life are artificial: Code Red. That undead rogue who griefed you for 4 hours straight on World of Warcraft. The pill. Rob Lowe’s hair. Regardless, this soup being artificial means you don’t have to hunt down a chicken yourself and granulate him into soup for you to get your instant ramen fix. But wait! What’s this madness I smell!? Could it be? That thing that perks you up with spicy vigor from Jamaica to the Orient, Africa to Polynesia, the smell of this powerhouse root is undeniable and induces a strong Pavlovian response no matter who you think you are. GINGER, BITCHES! And not like Ed Sheeran ginger. I’m talking ginger root, and there’s actual slivers of it in here, the tasty kind that won’t play games or con you into giving up the goods. Any Asian knows that chicken soup + ginger = WIN, so I’m bout to win harder than Charlie Sheen, VD and psychobabble free.
And it doesn’t dissipate come soup time. A soft chicken base means the ginger can shine through, then the sesame oil (aka foodie heroine) kicks in and adds a nutty, almost creamy finish, making this THE soup to make when you wanna fake like you had a loving childhood. The broth is so deceptively subtle, uncomplicated, and addictive, you’re definitely gonna beat up some terminally ill children for their lunch, if this is what they’re eating. The noodles do tend to fade into the background – they’re thin, soft, and easy to slurp up with very minimal chew. All said, this dish is the perfect compliment to any personal day off. Just add a ginger ale and a crazy straw when you call up your boss to make it believable.
Final Score: 7.0/10